Are you familiar with Robert Cop? No, I’m not talking about the half-man, half-machine future of law enforcement jackass. I’m talking about ROBERT COP, the officially unofficial Chinese bootleg toy!

The first time I heard about Robert Cop was way back in the early ’90’s. There was a tiny picture posted in the toy column of Heroes Illustrated (a Wizard magazine knock-off, appropriately enough). It blew my mind! There was nothing funnier to 12 year old Brad than the name Robert Cop. I showed EVERYONE the tiny crappy photo that some reader had sent in. I couldn’t believe it was real. It was 100% comedy gold to me, and I had absolutely no idea how to get one of my own. Alas, those pre-internet days are long gone, and now every hilariously terrible thing is just a PayPal button click away (sniff).

THAT IS, UNTIL NOW! Behold! Something you can’t get on the internet:

Advertisement courtesy of Battle Zoo

A ROBERT COP 2 T-shirt? HELL YEAH! Twelve year old me is pumped as shit right now, and you should be too, because this shirt is fuckin’ weird. Robert Cop 2 features robots from all of my favorite 90’s sequels, and now stands before you, ready to befuddle onlookers at all of the cool places that you hang out.

Fans of the Xenomorph shirt have told me that it totally bewilders people, which is just about the best compliment in the world to me. Hopefully this shirt will prompt even more “WTF” from your peers:

Still not sold on the second greatest bootleg tee shirt of all time? (First greatest). Well, here is a TINY preview of the bonus fun that the first 25 pre-orders will receive along with their shirt:

Not much of a preview, huh? Well, I’m keeping these under wraps at the moment. Only my dog, Bailey, and I know what awesomeness is in store for you, and man, are these cool. I probably shouldn’t be wasting my time making cool stuff for you, but screw it. You’re totally worth it. I’ll post next week with more details.

So, if you’re a fan of Robert Cop, bootleg toys, or absurd tee-shirts, then click the button below to preorder this This swank ass shirt.

DEETS: This Cool 4 color design is printed on a “Sea Foam Green” American Apparel 100% ring-spun cotton uni-sex shirt. Printed using a soft ink over discharge underbase screen-printing method (no thick plastisol inks here, folks!) making this the softest and classiest shirt available anywhere on the Internet!
ONLY $22 plus shipping! All the rest of the details at SHOP!

PS There is no way this shirt will be as popular as the Xenomorph shirt, so if you want one, you really should pre-order it.